Season 8, Episode 9, “Stephanie’s Wild Ride”

Pre-Credits Gag:  Joey does his Mr. Woodchuck routine for the twins.  We haven’t seen that puppet for like 2 Seasons and I guess I was naive enough to believe that we’d never be subjected to it ever again.  Many wood puns ensue.

Michelle plays Super Nintendo using a really enormous controller, presumably because it looks better for tv.  I don’t know why she doesn’t just use the Power Glove.  It’s so bad.  Oh wait right that was only for 8-bit Nintendo.  Also, it didn’t even work.  Anyway, the twins watch her suck ass at the game she’s playing and then she asks Jesse to help her with it.  It’s pretty clear from the way that she’s describing the way the game works that the writers of this show have no idea what video games are like.  Jesse helps her find the first magic key in the game and then refuses to return it to her as he continues to play.

As Gia and Stephanie enjoy a pleasant afternoon at the mall food court, Gia orders Stephanie to “check out those guys” and then, after the camera pans over to them, I could only conclude that she said it because she couldn’t believe what a couple of enormous dipshits they were.

For some unknowable reason it turns out that Gia finds these oafish young men attractive and so she beckons them over to herself and her homely friend.  The guys asks them if they’re the girls who jumped onstage at the Nine Inch Nails concert, immediately damaging the bands credibility forever.  Surely there is no greater death knell for a band’s counter-culture status than being referenced on Full House.

The boys sit down to engage further in conversation, one of them splay-legged, the other sitting backwards in his chair, and they ask the girls what high school they go to.  Stephanie almost spills the beans about them being in junior high but Gia is desperate enough to get felt up by some oily delinquents that she forces Stephanie to go along with her story about them attending private school.  When the boys ask which private high school they go to, they just answer, “can’t tell you, it’s private” because I guess it was too hard for them to remember the name of any private high school in the city.

DJ and Kimmie Gibbler roll up on the scene and almost fuck up the whole charade but then Stephanie pulls them aside and begs them to go along with their front.  DJ and Kimmie Gibbler are like, “sure, who gives a shit?” and then they split.  Stephanie goes back to the table and discovers that the boys have left but Gia informs her that they went to go get their car so they could give them a ride home.  Stephanie is hesitant to get into a car with some buffoonish looking boys that she doesn’t even know but then Gia’s like, “I am your token irresponsible friend and I’m always going to pressure you to do stupid shit in order for you to learn a valuable lesson so let’s just cut to the fucking chase already.”

Jesse continues to monopolize Michelle’s video game while she sits on the couch rolling her eyes.  Joey comes in and becomes engaged with the activity, followed by Danny and Becky, all of whom grow hopelessly enthralled within seconds.

Ok, so I’ve seen a lot of crazy nonsense over the course of the past 7 Seasons.  I’ve watched Jesse jump out of a plane that Joey was flying and land in a truck full of tomatoes.  I’ve seen the family get lost on a remote Hawaiian island, only to be rescued by stumbling onto a giant live concert.  I’ve witnessed Stephanie and Michelle accidentally board a plane to New Zealand.  And yet, somehow, I was totally unprepared for how completely fucking insane this sequence of Stephanie and Gia being driven home by those high school boys would be.

The most striking thing about it is that it looks pretty expensive.  It’s shot outside and involves some pretty intense stunt driving.  So, let’s just ignore that these teenage boys somehow have a convertible sports car and instead focus on the fact that they drive like they’re either on a lot of drugs and/or are experienced stunt drivers.  First they start speeding and making a lot of sharp turns, which is sort of plausible as a thing that irresponsible teenage drivers would do for kicks.  But then they decide that it would be hilarious to drive on the wrong side of the road and almost run directly into a truck.

After narrowly avoiding a head-on collision, do they realize the error of their ways?  No, no they do not.  They just exclaim, “awesome!” and high five each other.  Stephanie starts to exhibit some incredibly understandable anxiety about the life threatening driving that’s occurring but Gia just tells her to chill out.  And you know what?  Stephanie decides that she should just listen to Gia and relax, and soon she’s hooting and hollering along with everyone else as they skid across lanes and shit.  I cannot think of a more cartoonish and ridiculous outcome for the accepting-rides-home-from-strange-boys scenario.  It transcends any sort of logical cautionary tale and becomes something utterly ludicrous instead.

Stephanie comes home and tells DJ about all the stupid irresponsible nonsense that she just participated in as though it’s a real cool story and DJ’s like, “bitch, have you lost your mind?”  Stephanie tells her to fuck off and quit raining on her parade and DJ’s like, “fine, whatever.”

DJ interrupts the adults’ obsessive video game affair to tell them that it’s time for dinner, which she apparently prepared herself.  It’s weird how she’s like the responsible matron of the full house all of a sudden.  Everyone eats hastily (even the dog for some reason) so they can get back to their video game and then they all rush off, leaving DJ to do the dishes.

The second that everyone leaves, Gia comes in (never mind that if they hadn’t finished dinner unusually quickly, she would be walking right into the middle of it) and tells Stephanie that their new crazy driver boyfriends are outside and want to take them out for more potentially fatal hijinks.  Stephanie goes into the living room to ask Danny for permission to go out and he’s like, “do whatever the fuck you want.  I’m totally obsessed with this video game right now.”  It seems like there’s some sort of hidden moral in this episode about how playing video games makes you a negligent parent or something but I’m probably just putting more thought into it than any of the writers did.

DJ intervenes, telling Stephanie that there’s no way that she’s going to let her get into that stunt car again and that she’ll narc on her to Danny if she tries to go.  They have a stand-off where Stephanie makes her way towards the door and DJ moves closer to the living room where Danny is and in the end DJ’s willingness to be a snitch overpowers Stephanie’s urge for teenage rebellion.  Stephanie tells Gia that she can’t go and then stomps off up to her room, hella mad.

The video game marathon comes to a head as all of the adults start arguing over who gets to use the controller and then Michelle pulls the cartridge out of the console.  She tells them that they were too immersed in the game even though she was probably just mad that she wasn’t the center of attention (which is pretty much what every conflict involving Michelle is about) and then everyone straight up thanks her for intervening and decides to go back to their regular lives.  Again, I’m not really clear on what they’re trying to say with all of this.  Are we supposed to be learning about why video games are bad for you?  I’m really not sure.  Once they’re gone she starts playing the game again because really all she cared about was having the whole thing all to herself.

DJ goes into Stephanie’s room to have a very special talk and Stephanie’s like, “kiss my ass, you meddling poindexter.”  They start bickering until Danny comes into the room and tells Stephanie that Gia’s mom (who he’s totally been stickin’ it to) called to tell him that Gia was in a car accident.  He asks if she was supposed to be in the car, too, and DJ tells him that Stephanie decided not to go because the boys were irresponsible drivers.  Danny tells Stephanie that he’s proud of her for having such good judgement and then hugs her before abruptly leaving the scene.

Stephanie apologizes to DJ because she’s been such a stupid asshole and then DJ tell her about how she and Kimmie Gibbler stayed out all night on Halloween when they were 13 because they were once stupid assholes, too.  The music comes on as DJ tells Stephanie that she’ll eventually acquire a better meter for when something’s a bad idea and then they hug.  Stephanie then tells DJ that she feels like a piece of shit for lying to Danny about why she didn’t get into the car with those boys and decides that she’d better tell him, which is kind of great because it’s totally going to get DJ in trouble because she’s the one who lied to him.  Take that, DJ!

Firsts:  a sequence looks expensive

107 thoughts on “Season 8, Episode 9, “Stephanie’s Wild Ride”

  1. I grinned when I saw the title of this one.

    (I never really paid attention to the titles of the episodes of this show, and yet, I knew which one this was anyway. That’s sad, isn’t it?)

    The guys asks them if they’re the girls who jumped onstage at the Nine Inch Nails concert, immediately damaging the bands credibility forever. Surely there is no greater death knell for a band’s counter-culture status than being referenced on Full House.

    Oh, geez, I totally forgot about that part of it all. I remember these dumbass guys, though, and Gia, hon? You need better taste in men. You too, Stephanie. I know nothing turns me on more than a guy careening his car towards a truck and veering away at the very last minute, all, “Haha, we could’ve totally crashed!” WTF?

    I also agree that this is one hell of an over-the-top “don’t drive with random guys you just met” storyline. Also, I know Gia’s going to be okay and all, but if that were my friend who’d been hurt, I still wouldn’t be in the mood to go back to joking about with my sister after such a drastic piece of news like that. I’d be sitting there freaking the fuck out until I heard from her myself, just to confirm she would be fine.

    As for the video game storyline? Your guess as to the point of that whole storyline sounds logical enough to me. I honestly can’t think of any other reason why that plot existed.

    • If 80’s/90’s sitcoms taught us anything it’s that a person can be totally ok after a car wreck and then shortly afterwards, die of internal bleeding (see Carol’s boyfriend Sandy, a pre-Chandler Matthew Perry, on Growing Pains as the best example). Stephanie is downright contemptible for not reacting for longer than 10 seconds to the news her best friend was injured.

      • Hahaha, so true. Just depends on how serious the message is that they want to send, I guess.

        Yeah, it was so weird. If I were her, I’d be crying my eyes out and someone would have to comfort me and be like, “It’s okay, it’s okay, she’s going to be fine.” Then I’d go see her in the hospital first chance I got.

    • I think the video game plot is simply a gag on the reversal of roles. All the adults become entranced by the game (haha, it’s like they’re kids!). DJ calls them to dinner where they reluctantly give up the game, only to scarf their food down so they can get right back to it. Finally, Michelle scolds them for playing too much and arguing over it, and, because they’re playing the children’s roles, they accept her authority and retreat.

      Is it really a politicized message about evil video games? I can’t conclusively deny it, but I think that’s giving it too much credit.

    • No, but as I’ll elaborate on in my own post, I knew some kids who did. It was one of those things that was really awesome in theory but really, really stupid in execution.

    • I did not have an SNES Advantage, but I had an NES advantage. I was.. seven? It was pretty cool, it was the first controller I ever owned that actually had turbo buttons. In retrospect, that seemed like cheating. But the controller was ridiculously large compared to anything else on the market at the time – if being used by a non-adult, it had to be placed on the ground and I imagine even some adults would place it on the ground as well.

      Cool controller, little cheatery though.

  2. It would have been so much cooler with the Power Glove, I could see Derek or Aaron Bailey coming over with it acting like a total badass like the kid in The Wizard.

    All I remember about the video game story line payoff is at the end when Comet puts his paw on the controller and Michelle grabs it with both hands and the craziest look in her eyes saying “Don’t even think about it!”.

  3. So, let’s just ignore that these teenage boys somehow have a convertible sports car

    Growing up I went to school with kids who ranged from middle class to obnoxiously wealthy. In car terms I went to school with kids who worked so they could afford a late-80’s Nissan as well as a kid who’s parents bought them a Mercedes. I fell somewhere in the middle economically (only one of my parents three kids who had a car in high school, but that’s a story on it’s own) but it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility for spoiled kids to have a car like those douche canoes did.

  4. I still remember Stephanie saying in this episode ‘I have a need for speed!!’

    If only she knew how true that would become

  5. Heh – so the personal pizza box sitting on Michelle’s lap really IS a controller. Who knew (besides Richard, of course)? No, really. When I first saw the screen shot of that ginormous box I was sure this was going to be a very special episode about Michelle’s secret-eating disorder.

    Also: Joey does his Mr. Woodchuck routine for the twins. You’re soaking in it.

  6. I don’t think the video game story was supposed to have a moral. I think it was written strictly for the yuks. “Yuks” sounds corny enough to mean jokes that aren’t funny, right? Occasionally the Full House will have a story that serves no purpose other than to show what a bunch of useless idiots the grownups are…even more so than usual. I mean, where the hell are the twins while everyone’s fighting over the game? Falling down the stairs? Playing with plastic bags? In the middle of the street?

    • Christian, Nicky and Alex were watching the so-called adults fight over the game until Michelle stopped the fight. I do think when Joey said, “I’m going to play with Mr. Woodchuck,” for touching himself!

  7. I missed y’all last week! It was the first week in months that I didn’t comment, I’ve been in job training so that has pretty much taken over my life, even on Fridays :(

    Awesome review! I was looking forward to this one. Once again, DJ proves herself to be the only denizen of the Full House who has any reasoning ability or stability whatsoever.

    Totally agree about the “oafish” boys that Stephanie and Gia were fawning over. It amuses me that they are the Full House writers’ versions of cool, badass teenagers.

    The B plot with Michelle’s video game is one of the most pointless, lackluster subplots in the entire series. That said, I am impressed by your video game knowledge!

    Enjoy your weekend, everyone :)

    • Job training, huh? Good for you, LTL! I think we should call Michelle “Michelle Messiah” because she knows what is best for everyone and can solve their problems. On TWOP “Little House on the Prairie,” they called Michael Landon’s Charless Ingalls character “Pa Messiah” because he always knew what everyone should do and he could solve problems like Jesus Christ. As for Stephanie and Gia, I remember a Dateline episode about stranger danger. Young children were videotaped helping out a man who claimed to have lost his dog. They didn’t know the guy and they went off with him. Many kids have disappeared this way. The parents were incredulous, of course, because they told little Johnny or little Susie not to go with strangers and they thought the kids knew better! The Dateline scenario was fake but abductors have used that ruse to lure children. DJ and Kimmy at age 13 were so lucky they weren’t abducted in Berkeley when they hitch-hiked! I have no video game knowledge, but I find “Angry Birds” to be addictive! Good luck to you on your future, LTL! I think that despite DJ’s stupidity at age 13, she is the voice of reason in that nuthouse!

        • Ltl, you’re welcome! As for me, I hope basic anatomy goes well because I am studying the brain. The strange thing is that the brain looks nothing like cauliflower with veggies pinned to it!

    • Job training, woo! Hope all went well with that/is going well with that!

      I always get a kick out of what is considered “badass” on family sitcoms like this, too. It’s either guys like this, who are total idiots instead of rebels, or they have plots where, oh, my god a kid drank a beer at a party their life is clearly over now! Or something.

      Hope you have a good weekend, too! My birthday’s on Sunday, so that’s the big exciting thing about my coming weekend. Will be entering the last year of my twenties, woo.

      • Happy birthday Angela! That’s exciting, and the best is yet to come I’m sure :-)

        Thank you so much for the kind words.

        The dynamic between Gia and Steph is actually pretty interesting to me, considering the fact that Gia started off hating her. Their friendship is basically based off of Gia pressuring Stephanie into something that makes her uncomfortable. I don’t know if we’re supposed to think that Gia genuinely likes Steph, that she just uses her, or neither.

        • Thanks! Yeah, it’s weird to think I’m inching ever closer to 30, but I’m happy about it, and look forward to seeing what that will bring. And you’re very welcome in return, as always :)!

          Good question about Gia and Steph. I think they do genuinely seem to get on after a while-they wouldn’t have gotten so excited about the idea of possibly being stepsisters when Danny and Claire were dating otherwise. At the same time, though, like you said, Gia really seems to like dragging Stephanie into dangerous situations-I think she just wants her to loosen up and have a little more fun. Which I can relate to, as I have friends that are a little “wilder” than me and all that.

          Unfortunately, Gia has a warped idea sometimes of what “fun” is. Therefore it’s Stephanie’s job to try and pull her back sometimes.

          • Wait, did the FH writers actually create a relationship that’s balanced? I’m shocked. Actually, what they need to do now is have the girls age a bit, marry them, then have Stephanie slowly alter her personality to go along with every crazy thing Gia says.

          • I hope it brings many wonderful things! Any fun bday plans??

            Good points to both you and Sarah P about the Steph/Gia relationship. I guess it IS supposed to be one of those balanced friendships, where the “bad girl” is tamed somewhat by the straight arrow, but then still tries to get her to rebel at times.

            I actually liked Steph’s old friend Mickey, and I’m kind of sorry they dropped her. She was one of those “diamond in the rough” characters, i.e a girl who didn’t quite have her act together but had a good heart.

            I’m probably thinking about this show and these characters WAY too much. Lol!

  8. Ha! I loved the firsts for this episode: a sequence looks expensive.
    Has DJ ever done a very special talk by herself before? Or is that a first too?

  9. >.< OMG. Well, it's finally happened. Seems like in every family where the mom dies or is otherwise gone or incapacitated, the oldest daughter takes over as mother. And look at that – it only took 8 years!
    I really, really hate the episodes of any tv show where the grown-ups are being shown as the kids. "Look kids, adults can be immature, too! Why don't you show them how immature they're being by acting like the adult? Then they'll realize how they're acting and be the grown-ups again." Psshhtt, that never worked on my parents. And in this case, the kid that showed them up was fucking MICHELLE?! No. Just… no. Grumpy Cat No. And then, of course, what does she do when the adults start acting like adults again? She goes right back to her dumb game. Selfish bitch.
    So… Stephanie and Gia. I agree, Gia needs better taste in guys. And what were the odds that the guys that they happen to randomly pick up at the mall would have a crazy fast, expensive car and driver's licenses? I totally believe that they would high-five each other after almost getting squished by a giant truck… as my first boyfriend would have done the same. Doing Dumbass Things In Cars was his thing. Why the hell I ever got into that truck, I'll never know.
    It sounds like this was the only good Music ever. "…she’ll eventually acquire a better meter for when something’s a bad idea." That's true. This once again proves that DJ is the only one in this house with any sense. Stephanie might escape it as well, but everybody else still drinks the Kool-Aid that Michelle serves for breakfast every morning (too bad it's got olives in it).
    Also: AGREED on the fact that when your dad announces that your best friend was in a car accident, you don't just shrug it off and go "okay"! I mean, sure those guys were fugly, but next time, please give a shit about your best friend!
    Also also: this didn't fit anywhere else, but I like Gia's skort :)

    • I know what you mean about the reverse thing with adults and children! That sort of thing never worked in my house, either! Ah, TV, you lie to us once again! *Shakes fist* As for Michelle, it’s par for the course with her at this point, pretty much.

      Good point about the odds of those two picking up doofus guys like that. Course, you might not be able to guess what kind of moronic behavior they were into, but just looking at them it’s pretty obvious the lights aren’t on upstairs, you know? What is it with guys doing dumb things with cars? Many of them treat their cars as if they were their babies (or girlfriends, which is kind of…creepy), only to then turn around and do dangerous things with said precious cars. Don’t get it. I’m glad you managed to break away from that boyfriend.

      DJ was always easily the smartest character in that household. And re: the friend thing-exactly! And I liked Gia’s outfit, too :).

  10. Why the fuck didn’t we actually ever get an episode about DJ and Kimmy staying up all night and hitchhiking to Berkeley?

    • Luna, does anyone sing you the Luna song from that commercial? Back to the topic: I don’t know why they didn’t show DJ and Kimmy hitch hiking, but maybe I do. The show turned into the Michelle show that is why!

        • Ergh, yeah, this is true. Good point. *Shakes fist at show writers*

          However, given everyone’s been talking about writing fan fiction for the show on here, that would make for a great idea for one of those stories!

  11. Oh, god, this episode. I HATED this episode as a kid, for its incorrect portrayal of video games and tacked on “video games can ruin your life” message. Nothing felt more to me like adults pretending they knew what they hell they were talking about when it fact they did not than all the video game stuff in this episode.

    We haven’t seen that puppet for like 2 Seasons and I guess I was naive enough to believe that we’d never be subjected to it ever again.

    Naive, or just confident in the show’s ability to introduce something than never reference it again? Because given its history, you weren’t wrong to assume we’d seen the last of that damned puppet…

    It’s pretty clear from the way that she’s describing the way the game works that the writers of this show have no idea what video games are like.

    Seriously. Way too much button mashing for what is apparently a puzzle game, and the things they talk about just don’t make sense.

    I could only conclude that she said it because she couldn’t believe what a couple of enormous dipshits they were.

    Hello 90s! Holy crap, those guys look like they walked off the set of 90210.

    Are we supposed to be learning about why video games are bad for you?

    I think so. This was around the time where plenty of parents were freaking out about the influence of video games on their kids and whatnot. While not on the level of a “very special episode”, I could definitely see the writers paying lip service to those fears with this episode.

    • I don’t really think that was meant to send a message so much as a “teeheehee, adults fighting over a video game, isn’t that silly?” bit of comic relief to counter the more serious subject Stephanie and her token bad influence friend risking their lives with skeevy older boys.

  12. Yet another Michelle storyline where the climax is she’s not the center of attention and gets bent out of shape about it. I also love how it’s never directly acknowledged that it’s a Super Nintendo they are playing. I’m reminded of that episode of Roseanne where she’s clearly playing Super Mario World but her dialogue is some bullshit reference to a game involving monkey people. At least Michelle didn’t shut the game off by pulling the controller out which seems to be a recurring element in sitcoms that involve video games.

    • On the Roseanne reference: YES. She said she was about to be “queen of the monkey people” but the music was quite obviously from Super Mario World. I remember thinking, “if they’re going to say ‘Super Nintendo’ and actually play music from the Mario game, why don’t they just go all the way and call the game by it’s name??”

  13. DJ has totally become the mom of the show. Just wait until the episode where Kimmy gets drunk, her role definitely becomes apparent then. I definitely remember the video game subplot here, and I remember thinking, who has a controller like that? I guess they did exist, but I never knew anyone who had one. The power glove would have totally been better, that’s something we all remember, and maybe even had (or at least knew someone who did)!

    Also, I actually recently saw NIN (in SF), so I guess this show didn’t completely ruin their career :)

  14. “Don’t get in a car with irresponsible ugly boys who drive recklessly” is actually a pretty good lesson. I had to learn that once without the help of the only member of my household who has any semblance of rationality. And that was super fucked up of Stephanie to make DJ think she was going to rat her out to Danny about hitchhiking at 13 to soften the blow of what she did. I would have punched her square in the face.

    • Looking back at the way my friends and I drove when we were teenagers, I feel lucky to be alive. It’s seriously terrifying thinking about some of the dumb things we did.

  15. Ah, the 90s sitcom “video games make you crazy” plot. I remember Step By Step doing one of these where the nerd kid (because who else would like video games, right? lolololol) pretty much becomes a crack head after playing a video game. He actually went to an AA-esque meeting for it! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more blatant example of TV writers being afraid of a new medium than this. After all, they wouldn’t dare make a “TV is addictive and bad for you” plot. :P

    • yeah i vividly remember that episode of step by step. it was really weird how straight they played it at the end, where we’re supposed to take the video game equivalent of aa seriously. maybe one of the most forced very special episodes ever

  16. Was Maria Sokoloff(sp?), who plays Gia, the ’90s go-to actress on family shows’ special episodes on irresponsible driving? IIRC, she was Lucy’s friend’s older sister on 7th Heaven who let her younger sister (who was only like 13 at the time) drive the car. They get into an accident and Lucy’s friend dies.

    • Oh, wow. Yeah, she always seemed to play the “bad girl” in anything I saw her in-guess she just has that “look” and attitude about her.

    • Ironically, I just saw her in an episode of Melissa & Joey (don’t judge) and she played a chiropractor – so an adult of course – who was a virgin.

      I guess as a teenager she had the wild child look but grew out of it?

  17. “Stephanie’s Wild Ride”

    Is it just me or have there been more Stephanie-centric episodes as of late?

    ” I don’t know why she doesn’t just use the Power Glove. It’s so bad. Oh wait right that was only for 8-bit Nintendo. Also, it didn’t even work.”

    Obviously somebody hasn’t seen The Wizard. The power glove made you the ultimate gamer!

    “I am your token irresponsible friend and I’m always going to pressure you to do stupid shit in order for you to learn a valuable lesson so let’s just cut to the fucking chase already.”

    Why would sitcoms be without the token irresponsible friend? I’ll tell you where. They’d be in a world where people didn’t learn enough valuable lessons.

    • I think Kimmie is supposed to be DJ’s token irresponsible friend, but she’s like the Diet Coke of Irresponsible Friend. She does goofy-ass irresponsible things, like allowing Michelle to purchase a donkey. Frankly, I like Kimmie’s irresponsibility more. Gia’s dumb shit could get you killed, whereas Kimmie’s lands you in a Peruvian flute band.

    • i’ve seen the wizard a million times, as indicated by the direct quote from it in this review. but i also had a friend who had a powerglove back in the day. after spending way too much time setting it up, we played battle of olympus (my favorite game at the time) and you couldn’t get the guy to do anything but walk into the first door on the screen. there was no way to get him to walk past it.

      i don’t even like to think of all the kids who were captivated by the power gloves marketing campaign, only to have their birthday/christmas/hard earned money ruined by a shitty product that didn’t work at all. i’m surprised they didn’t get sued over that thing.

      interestingly enough, the wii controller pretty much operated the way the powerglove was supposed to, so it only took them another 20 years to get the technology to work.

  18. I never understood why the Tanner girls were always so eager to tell Danny they’d been lying about something – Stephanie lying in this episode about the car ride, that episode where DJ convinced Michelle and Stephanie to lie for her about going to the movies and totally got away with it, then blurted the truth out to Danny, etc. Maybe I was just a shitty kid, but I was always overjoyed when I got away with something and no fucking way would I have told my parents the truth. I feel like that’s normal teenage behavior, though that’s clearly not the case in the FH universe.

    • My own family makes fun of me for this to this day, but I was definitely Tanner-esque in that regard. I ratted myself out to my parents all the time. One time this bratty girl from school called my house to tell on me for some schoolyard infraction, and I actually politely asked her to hold while I brought my mom to the phone.

  19. Yes, yes, yes! Next week is the one where Kimmy gets completely drunk! I can’t wait to hear Billy’s thoughts on this one.

  20. Sitting backwards on a chair WITH your legs splayed out was like THE hot thing sitcom bad boys did in the 90’s. Joey from Blossom and Uncle Jesse did it, like, all the time. …And not gonna lie – – it still turns me on to this very day.

  21. Wow. Seventh graders in sitcoms really don’t have standards when it comes to the attractiveness of older guys, just as long as they’re in high school and have a driver’s license. The backwards newsboy hat on the one guy is pretty much a giant red flag signaling a complete toolbag.

    The video game subplot is a fantastic example of how Rebecca Donaldson-Cochran-Katsopolis straight up lost her marbles as a result of marrying Jermsey and living in the full house. She was the mother figure/voice of reason for these crazies before she moved in with them permanently. Now she’s given up on everything and sucked into stupid video games just like the man-children she lives with, leaving DJ in charge of the dishes and the very special talks.

  22. Woah so I just looked up Marla Sokoloff (Gia) to see what she looks like now and she dated James Franco for like, five yearss, and they have a sex tape! Damn. Lucky girl.

    When I was a sophomore in high school me and a friend got in a car with two random guys we had just met (they pulled over to ask us if we knew where to get weed…haha). We got burritos. It was pretty fun. Needless to say it was a stupid decision, and I just happened to get lucky, but there’s no way I would have enjoyed myself if we started driving in the wrong lane for fun. The fuck, Steph?!

    For some reason, I always remember Stephanie screaming “Burn Rubber!” like a total asshole in the back of the car.

    DJ by this point has surpassed Aunt Becky BY FAR in the wise/sensible department.

    Btw, this is totally random, but I just recently caught the episode where Comet runs away because he’s chasing the car with the giant hot dog on it and realized it says “Funky Franks” on it, which was the name of the hot dogs that Stephanie tries when she spills mustard all over DJ’s sweater and then shrinks it. Of all the things to provide continuity with, Full House writers? Only a weirdo like me would even notice that! I bet they didn’t even remember they had used that before. They probably came up with Funky Franks all over again and thought it was clever.

    Also, why is THIS Full House’s idea of a teenager rebelling? That’s not even rebellion that’s just being retarded and maybe even suicidal. Why not have them consider smoking pot or something? I mean, that’s a lot less dangerous than becoming a death-defying drag-racer? Am I riiiight?

    Okay, done ranting. Perfect as always! Have a good weekend errbodddyyy!

    • Woah so I just looked up Marla Sokoloff (Gia) to see what she looks like now and she dated James Franco for like, five yearss, and they have a sex tape! Damn. Lucky girl.

      Holy shit, seriously?

      Damn indeed. Look at you go, Marla.

      When I was a sophomore in high school me and a friend got in a car with two random guys we had just met (they pulled over to ask us if we knew where to get weed…haha).

      I really hope to god that wasn’t their idea of a pickup line, ’cause…wow. *Smacks forehead*

      I was an incredibly boring teenager in regards to boys. I would’ve been way too scared to even consider doing something like that-too many horror stories, I think. Plus, if the guys didn’t kill me, my parents sure as hell would’ve.

      Fully agreed on the rebellion thing-yeah, these guys are just dumbasses. I like your idea better. Hell, even making the guys smokers would be less risky.

      And LMAO at your continuity catch! That is weird!

    • “I bet they didn’t even remember they had used that before. They probably came up with Funky Franks all over again and thought it was clever.”

      Yes. This. Cracking up because this describes the FH writers to a tee!

  23. I was away on vacation last Friday, but Billy, I loved the review. Better late than never to let you know how much it cracked me up.

    Now, onto this episode. I remember hating this one as a kid, mostly because of the ridiculous “video games are bad” message (if anything, staying indoors and playing “D” or the first “Resident Evil” prevented me from getting into cars with obnoxious boys who drove recklessly. Fuck you, Full House.)

    “They start bickering until Danny comes into the room and tells Stephanie that Gia’s mom (who he’s totally been stickin’ it to) called to tell him that Gia was in a car accident.”

    …. And that’s it? “Hey, Steph. Gia was in a car accident. What do you want for dinner?” Did she die? Did those boys die? I need answers.

    • Nah, Gia escaped with minor injuries. As for the buffoons she was riding with… Well, they’re never seen again, so it’s possible.

  24. I actually just saw this episode last night on Nick at Nite (I flipped over too quickly to watch Friends, but I have no excuse for keeping the channel on…) and was wondering where in the season this fell. This episode has not aged particularly well with the video game system that I think is older than I am. The idea that two adults and two manchildren would sit and watch a video game for hours is baffling to me. I guess the codependency in the full house makes it a necessity though.

    • Two adults and two manchildren … a perfect description! Love your screen name, by the way. An homage to a show that really was brilliant.

  25. Gia is pretty aggressively slutty. In order to court the attention of these 16 year old boys who are probably having sex with bananas, she literally whistles them over to the table, like they’re black labs. And happily lies to them in order to, presumably, fumble around in the back set of their unrealistically nice sports car. Weird. And surely there are better looking boys than this catastrophically dressed backwards beret tool (holy shit he’s wearing a backwards beret) and the Icelandic goalie from Mighty Ducks 2 who sits worse than he looks.

    The video game B-story is terrible. Terrible. It’s boring, inconsistent with the established personalities of the Full House characters (Danny neglecting his daughter’s safety? How did his wife die again?), and did I mention terrible? For the first time in Full House history, I found Aunt Becky’s annoyingness to be commensurately uncompensated by her absurd good looks.

    What if Steph had died in this episode… Now that’s a plot twist I could roll with. Have mercy!

    • Nobody would have noticed. They were all enthralled in a video game. Although, really, if you’re going to Judy Winslow somebody, that’s the way to do it.

  26. good episode teaches us that we should’n’t get in a car with a guy that can’t drive and another guy who likes his wild driving. No Gia didn’t die. Danny told Steph that she had some bumps and bruises and she was gonna have to take it easy but i think she was alright.

  27. i liked this episode but uh i can’t stand DJ anymore i mean Steph should be able to make her own decsion and DJ says no. i so much rather Stephanie than DJ cause she is alot of a easy going girl and she’s funny and way hotter than DJ way hotter!

  28. Nine Inch Nails really had a niche for a minute being the pop culture thing fully grown adult writers would shoehorn in to sound “with it”.

    But yeah, I guess Stephanie Tanner listening to “Closer” would be pretty edgy.

  29. Couldn’t they have bought more controls for the price of that Super Advantage deal?

    If the Asshole Pantheons *REALLY* wanted to kill off Nine Inch Nails career, Jermsey would’ve booked them at the Smash Club.

    The high schoolers barely look sober enough to know which school they attend. :p

  30. Oh please! Those douchebag boys at the mall do NOT look like they’d be listening to NIN anytime soon! Maybe Nirvana or Pearl Jam.

    • I agree with all of you! Kimmy was less than impressed with Jason and Barry who were the 2 boys. She said they were the jerks who drilled the peephole in the girls’ shower room at school. One of them said Kimmy was the reason they plugged it up. She said, “That hole goes both ways, zitbutt.”

  31. Although scared about the driving, Stephanie is mostly surprised because usually when guys tell her, “I’ll go get my car” she never sees them again.

  32. When I was in high school I didn’t have a license or a car just yet, and I was always super jealous of those guys who had super fancy cars, as seen in this episode. My first car was a 1993 Mazda Protege that only lasted 10 months before it started dying. Then my grandpa lent me his 96 Windstar which also died within a few months. After that I drove my dad’s 2005 civic for 3 years but that was before my sister came back from school and took it from me, so my grandmother gave me her 1999 century. I bet when I can afford it I’m going to get a beautiful brand new car, in my favorite color–blue. Or white. The only “colored” car I’ve driven was the mazda and it was teal. The rest were either silver or beige. Serves those douches right for getting in a really bad car totaling accident, especially with their fancy Mustang

  33. This is the first recap I read on this site, after I stumbled upon it somehow. Anyway it made me want to start at the beginning. That was a few months ago, I usually read this blog when i’m at work, it makes the time go by faster.

  34. soooo does stephanie show any kind of concern for her friend whatsoever? or does the “gia got in a car accident” thing serve only so they can have a very special moment?

    of course it does..

  35. Super late (first-time) comment from an archive-reader who’ll be completely finished in a distressingly short time…

    But I remember how badly it upset me when Michelle just pulled the cartridge out of the SNES instead of pressing the button to eject it. (Or even just turning the power off!)

  36. The opening sequence features the four characters I hated the most on this show. That damn puppet was the worst addition ever.

    Anyway, there was a good exchange between the loser guys and Kimmy.
    Kimmy: aren’t you the losers who drilled a hole into the girls locker room?
    Losers: yeah, and you’re the reason we plugged it up.
    Kimmy: the hole works both ways, zit butt.
    That was one of the best burns on this show. Like when Stephanie called Kimmy a whore.

  37. I was semi wishing (actually fully wishing) that Dawn and Gia would’ve gotten into that car. They don’t deserve to breathe the same air as us cool kids do.

  38. “Steph, they’re guys. We’re women. Let’s just…turn on the charm…”

    -Writers reinforcing gender stereotypes? Sure. Why the fuck not?

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