Season 7, Episode 14, “Is It True About Stephanie?”

Pre-Credits Gag:  Becky tries to teach the twins to say, “have mercy” because she thinks that their father might actually put some effort into raising them if they learn his catchphrase.  They refuse, most likely due to their constant struggle with coherent speech, but then they are inspired to say it after Jesse comes home and starts making out with Becky right in front of them.  I think it’s fair to say that the phrase, “have mercy” is best applied when having to watch your parents make out.

This episode opens with Stephanie struggling to open her locker, which marks the first time we’ve seen anything outside of the bathroom of her school.  Stephanie’s classmates Mickey and Gia make return appearances as Gia hates on Stephanie and then fails to convince Mickey to ditch class with her.  Gia then proceeds to pop a boner over some whitebread rendition of a grunge kid named Jamie who ignores her to help Stephanie with her locker.  While Gia glares in the background, he invites Stephanie to see his band, Human Pudding, perform at the Smash Club (on the one hand, it seems like quite a coincidence that they’re playing at the Smash club, but on the other hand, where else could it possibly have happened?) on Friday. Stephanie accepts his offer because it’s the only time in her whole life that a boy has ever paid any attention to her on account of her face and fashion sense and general demeanor.

Meanwhile, back at the full house, the uncles are baking a cake or something and they ask Michelle to get them some vanilla from the cupboard.  Michelle replies, “vanilla…coming right up,” which makes the audience laugh for no reason that I could ever understand.  Seriously, that’s not even a joke.  It’s a casual reply.  It couldn’t even be misconstrued as a joke.  It’s like the audiences reactions are some sort of bizarre inverse of my own.  I wanted to punch her stupid face in when she said she’d get the vanilla, even though there was nothing that stood out about the line in any way.  Contrarily, the audience thinks it’s funny.  Anyway, what ends up happening is that Michelle can’t find the vanilla because Danny has rearranged everything in bizarre ways because he’s struggling to cope with his break-up with whats-her-name.  You know, that boring chick?  Yeah, her.  He’s so upset that he’s even trying to grow a gross, shitty mustache, and yet he refuses to acknowledge that there’s a problem.

Stephanie runs into DJ’s room, which has just been rearranged by Danny (which seems pretty invasive.  Seriously, what teenage girl wouldn’t totally freak out if one of their parents went in their room and moved all their shit around?), to tell her that she has a date.  Kimmie Gibbler is there, too, and she makes some sort of wiseass remark but I was too distracted by the poster behind her, which presents a photo of a whale and the Herman Melville quote, “We cannot live for ourselves alone” which is the most deeply ironic thing that anyone in the full house could have posted up in their room.  It’s amazing to me that the poster didn’t immediately burst into flame when it was pinned to the wall of a house containing the most self-absorbed pieces of shit on the entire planet.  I wonder if someone on the crew of the show didn’t put it up as a joke.

Gia shows up at the full house and butters up Danny and Becky by asking for their autographs and telling them that she loves their shitty morning show, which is something I’m sure they hear from 12-year old girls all the time.  She asks Stephanie if they can go up to her room and then there’s this really weird detail when they walk in there where Gia casually tosses a crumpled up wad of paper onto Stephanie’s bed.  Why does that happen?

What makes it even weirder is that the girls have an exchange with Michelle when they walk into the room and then when the camera cuts back to them, the wad is gone.  Maybe it was some sort of offering to Bubba the turtle, or any of the many grandparents and love interests who’ve been swallowed up by the full house.  Anyway, Gia condescendingly asks Michelle to leave her and Stephanie alone and then Michelle reciprocates her haughty tone, which makes for one of the most cringe-inducing exchanges in the entire series.  I can’t be too mad at Gia because she’s being shitty to Michelle, but hearing Michelle talk in that tone really makes me want to stab out my eyes and eardrums.

As soon as Michelle leaves the room, Gia gets all up in Stephanie’s face like, “bitch, you stole my man!  You betta back the fuck up!” but Stephanie asserts that, no, she will not back the fuck up, which is actually sort of impressive.  Gia’s like, “aight, biatch, that’s yo’ ass” and then leaves the room while shooting mad eye daggers.

The next day at school, Gia is seen gossiping in the hallway and then everyone bursts out laughing when Stephanie rolls up.  Stephanie immediately starts laughing along with them like she knows what the joke is, which is painfully awkward.

Mickey grabs Stephanie and informs her that Gia has been telling everyone that she paid Jamie $20 to ask her out, which is, like, the tamest middle school rumor that I’ve ever heard of.  For reals, if Gia was anything like a real life middle school girl she would have invented the most savage lie about Stephanie you could imagine, like that she has crabs, or that she gave Jamie a really crappy blow job in the parking lot, or the old timeless classic, that she saw her masturbating with a hot dog.

Regardless of the rumors’ lack of creativity, some stupid looking kid with a backwards hat mocks Stephanie right to her face before high-fiving his homies, and then Jamie comes up to Stephanie and breaks their date.  I find it hard to believe that if Jamie was unselfconscious enough to ask Stephanie out in the first place that he could be shamed by some lame rumor, but whatever.

Danny continues to rearrange all of the furniture in the full house, much to everyone’s dismay, and then Stephanie comes home and tells DJ and Kimmie Gibbler about what happened at school, which prompts her to start plotting revenge.

Danny makes everyone sushi and sets up an authentic Japanese-style dining area, which really bothers everyone for some reason.  Take that, Japanese culture! Your customs are strange and could only be explored by the emotionally unhealthy!  Michelle in particular is perturbed by this event, and I kept waiting for her to utter some sort of anti-Japanese racial slur.  You can’t tell me that you’d find that surprising!

Mickey comes over with a secret file and Stephanie excuses herself so the two of them can do something seedy up in her room.

Michelle is so put off by Japanese culture that she calls Danny out on trying new things because he’s upset about his break-up with that curly haired broad.  The music comes on as Danny realizes that exposing his family to culture and delicious food has been a terrible burden on them so he says that he’s going to start dealing with his break-up so they can all go back to being insulated and self-absorbed.  Then Jesse grabs the plate of raw fish so he can fry it up because, seriously, fuck the Japanese.  USA!  USA!  USA!

Mickey and Stephanie make a giant print-out of Gia’s abysmal report card and stick it up in the hallway at school.  All the kids point at it and laugh, including the stupid looking kid with the backwards hat, and then, further emphasizing the turning of the tides, Jamie asks Stephanie if they can renew their date.  Gia enters the hallway and sees the sick burn, which is quite cathartic for Stephanie until Gia starts crying.  Whatever, man.  Gia totally started that shit.  Kids like that, who instigate conflict and then can’t handle it when it goes the other way, are the worst.  You can tell that shit really rubs me the wrong way because I’m defending Stephanie.

Later, at the Smash club, Stephanie is too guilty to enjoy her double date with herself, Jamie, Mickey and that stupid looking kid with the backwards hat, who may or may not be in the process of becoming a regular character.  Meanwhile, Jesse interacts with a bunch of dancing kids in the club and I can’t help but wonder how he feels about being the owner of the premier hang-out for 12-year olds.

Anyway, Gia shows up and grabs a booth with her homegirls before being super shitty to her waitress, Kimmie Gibbler.  Jesse approaches Stephanie and asks what’s bothering her and she tells him about the conflict she had with Gia.  He tells her that she’s too good-natured to enjoy revenge and that it doesn’t matter what other people think of you, only what you think of yourself, which leads Stephanie to conclude that she won’t like herself until she patches things up with Gia.  Stephanie hugs her greasy uncle and then approaches Gia so she can expound the same platitudes that she just learned.  Gia is initially hesitant towards Stephanie’s friendly behavior but eventually succumbs to her corny bullshit, so they dance together while Human Pudding plays, which I guess means that they’re friends now.

Firsts:  We see more than just the bathroom of Stephanie’s school, that stupid looking kid with the backwards hat (assuming that he becomes a recurring character)

183 thoughts on “Season 7, Episode 14, “Is It True About Stephanie?”

  1. Just a thought, could the crumpled-up wad of paper have been the autographs that she had just gotten from Danny and Becky?

  2. Pretty sure neither Jaime or hat guy is seen again. Unfortunately neither is Mickey.

    Human Pudding obviously tried to cash-in on the popularity of Pearl Jam by adopting a name that sounds like a slang term for semen.

    • If I recall rightly, doesn’t Human Pudding play a song that pretty much just consists of them shouting their band name over and over again.

      (And if I’m right…why in the hell do I remember that?)

      Yeah, I get the feeling backwards-cap kid really has no room to mock anyone else about anything. And indeed, if the worst any kid had to deal with in school was someone saying they paid a person money to go out with them, I’d say they’re pretty fortunate. I also find it interesting that Gia gets mocked for her bad grades. When I was in middle school/early high school, not giving a fuck about academics actually made a kid cool.

      Also, there is something just so very, very wrong about Jesse trying to dance with 12 year olds.

      • Yea…they do just sing a song consisting of them shouting their name, and now its stuck in my head. I would rank that song just slightly worse than Jesse’s “Vulture” song.

        • Oh, yeah, it’s way worse than the “Vulture” song, I’d say.

          (Though at the same time, these kids’ crappy song can be excused for the simple fact that, well, they’re kids, and just starting out. Jesse’s been at his music career for how long and his “Vulture” song was the best HE could come up with?)

      • Yeah, Jesse dancing with the kids is creepy not only in the pedo way but also because it highlights how Jesse is way too old to still be acting like the immature punk kid he was when he first moved in.

        • Indeed. But we are talking about a guy who can’t ever seem to go without arguing with kids 6 years old or younger, too, so…

    • Richard, I did read somewhere that the name Pearl Jam originated because Eddie Vedder’s grandmother Pearl made her own jam. You never see Jamie again, that’s for sure! Billy forgot to mention that one of the twins looked like he was possessed or stroked out when he and his twin were playing the chopsticks like drumsticks at the table. They insulted the Japanese by implying that sushi is dog food when Comet tried to eat from a bowl on the floor. I mean the food from other cultures may seem strange, but we have to show respect. The Duggar family acts the same way the Tanners do when they are presented food from different cultures! As for the grades, teachers are learning not to post grades on the blackboard for all to see because it makes the students who struggle feel bad about themselves and Gia’s teacher should have protected her grades a whole lot better!

      • I lived in France for a year in high school and they straight up read our grades out loud when handing back tests. If you were a dumbass or didn’t work hard, all 30 people around you knew it. The ol’ shame our students into working harder strategy.

        • Interesting. I just got my thesis paper back on Monday, and the teacher was handing them back, saying “Don’t shout out your grade, or ask anyone else what they got.” Which was weird, because the only grades were Pass, Fail, and High Pass. I’m learning that High Pass is kind of rare, and I doubt very much that anyone failed, because everyone got a paper back, and the teacher stated that pretty much the only people who fail their thesis paper are the ones that don’t turn them in. So I guess for the most part, everybody got a pass…?

      • Bridget, why do you seem to have such a hardon for the Duggars? Serious question. You can’t seem to go one episode without saying something about them on a review of a Full House episode. What gives? I don’t watch them, and it seems like neither should you.

        • I don’t really know, but I like to read the snark about them and in a way they remind me of the Tanners with their ignorance of culture and how they say they embrace the differences of others, but they really don’t. I find them just as horrifying as the Tanners if not more so. I also watch TLC’s other quality shows (use quality loosely) here about people with large rumors and women who have no clue they’re pregnant and all that. Sorry, no more Duggar talk!

          • Noooo! Keep up the Duggar references. I don’t watch that show, becuase quite frankly, I find the whole idea of that family just a bit creepy, but I almost feel like I watch it after some of your references. Plus I usually crack up when I read your comments in general, keep it up!!

  3. Excellent review! Happy Friday, everyone :-)

    1. Steph really is pretty socially awkward, isn’t she? It’s cringe-inducing to watch and that’s why I hate any episodes that contain scenes with her at school.

    2. That said, it did always bother me that she was the only one who was made out to feel shitty and guilty about what she had done, while Gia doesn’t even ever apologize for what she did. Don’t get me wrong, posting up a student’s less-than-impressive report card is a nasty thing to do, but, well, so is starting a rumor that they offered a boy money to take them out. I’m not a believer in that whole “eye for an eye” thing (I believe there is such thing as a high road), but I also don’t think it’s fair that Stephanie was the only one who regretted what she did and tried to make peace.

    3. Also….how the hell would Mickey have access to Gia’s old report card? Do they have some sort of contest going on, seeing who can screw up their grades the most, instead of who can get the most action from boys?

    4. Sushi is even more commonplace and not non-bizarre than goat cheese and pizza and pesto sauce. What is WRONG with these people?

    5. “I can’t be too mad at Gia because she’s being shitty to Michelle, but hearing Michelle talk in that tone really makes me want to stab out my eyes and eardrums.”

    Respectfully, I have to disagree with this sentiment, Billy. Don’t get me wrong, I dislike the character of Michelle as much as anyone, but it is pretty shitty to be rude and condescending to your peer’s seven-year-old sister, no matter how annoying she is. Yes, Michelle talks back in a really unbearable way, but it’s not like it’s more acceptable for Gia to be rude than Michelle.

    Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend! Loved the review.

    • I hate Michelle as much as the next person, but I kinda wanna high five her when she burns Gia.

      “Ohhhh, Little Michelle. Are you ready for your first day of third grade?”
      “Are YOU ready for your third year of seventh grade?”

    • The whole sushi scene really brought me back. The American attitude on sushi has really changed within the last 10-15 years. I remember growing up, having only heard that it was “raw fish” and that in itself was enough to disgust me and all of my peers. Today, it’s so commonplace you can find pre-made sushi and almost any American grocery store.

  4. “Kids like that, who instigate conflict and then can’t handle it when it goes the other way, are the worst.” -
    If I had a dime for every kid I knew like that, I’d be rich. Just because you’re better at revenge, doesn’t mean you should have to feel bad. Gotta learn who not to mess with.

    “Stephanie hugs her greasy uncle” – something about that line just thrown in there almost got coffee spit on the keyboard, nice review.

    • Did you ever see the Clorox commercial with teen girl Becky and her greasy Uncle Steve who put on her white robe with her name in pink on one morning? Becky was thoroughly horrified that her creepy uncle would wear her prized robe!

  5. “Gia shows up at the full house and butters up Danny and Becky by asking for their autographs and telling them that she loves their shitty morning show, which is something I’m sure they hear from 12-year old girls all the time.”

    That reminds me of the Halloween episode of Home Improvement where Brad’s friend told Tim he was a big fan of Tool Time. He was lying to get on Tim’s good side of course. But in all honesty, I used to watch stupid stuff when I was 12. I have realized that kids and elderly people like the same kinds of shows. I started watching The Price is Right when I saw my grandparents watching it one day. Now watching that show is an insult to my intelligence so I can’t watch it again until I’m in my 70s.

    “or the old timeless classic, that she saw her masturbating with a hot dog.”
    Bwahahaha What kind of middle school did you go to?

    • The masturbating hot dog line was a tribute to Mean Girls. Although, in the movie they said she made out with a hot dog.

      • No, the line in Mean Girls was a tribute to the rumor itself. We had at least 6 guilty hot dog-lovers roaming around my school at any given time and I went to high school 4 years before Mean Girls came out. I guess in girl world, that’s the most scandalous rumor any one can think of. That and giving beej’s under the bleachers. Seems like there’s always some girl being accused of that.

        • i definitely heard the hot dog rumor at least once in junior high, many a year before mean girls was made. i’d wager that it’s the most common middle school girl mean rumor. someone should do a survey.

          • Yeah, I remember hearing that rumor in middle school too. Also, there was a guy who was rumored to have had sex with a cat.

            Middle School is an effed place…

          • In my school it was a shampoo bottle. This one girl earned the unfortunate nickname “pert plus.” Girls are terrible!

        • I think the meanest mean girl rumor I ever heard in high school was that this one nerdy girl was forced by her parents to lose her virginity to her own brother. Can you imagine how much better this episode would have been had Gia spread a rumor that Stephanie got her v-card punched by Joey! Now that would have been a devastating rumor.

          • As am I, lovetolaugh, as am I. Thank you SO much for the nightmares that are sure to follow now, Christian.

          • Christian, I heard of a rumor on the same level as yours and it has to do with Proctor & Gamble giving their proceeds to the church of Satan! It was a rumor started by some unhappy employees in the 1980s. I use Head and Shoulders shampoo in the winter because the cold weather is murder on my scalp and we use Dawn for our dishes and have been for over 30 some years and both products are made by P & G. There was also the rumor that had to do with Ozzie Nelson being an atheist. He was Christian all the way, but the rumor still persists! I do think God loves atheists and agnostics as much as believers. I am surprised that Billy didn’t mention the ugly rumor Jesse said was floating around about him and a root perm! I think a real terrible rumor would be one with Jesse not satisfying a woman or falling asleep during the act! As I said earlier, according to Rose Nylund on “The Golden Girls” anyone who brags about their sexual conquests doesn’t get any! Maybe Sam Malone on “Cheers” lied about being the Casanova of the bar!

  6. Thank you for your comment on the ridiculous sushi scene. This is a pretty wealthy family in San Francisco and they’ve never come across sushi before? Not even the adults? And it doesn’t make sense that he’d change the kitchen table for one meal. Are they going to eat breakfast, lunch, and all non-sushi dinners on this diminutive new table? Or does he plan to switch after this meal and store the new, now pointless table?

    Also, during that scene, Steph asks Mickey about the file. “Did you get the file?” or something bland Iike that. Why wouldnt she have asked her earlier? They came in the kitchen together. The fight with Gia is presently the most central thing in Steph’s lame life, so wouldn’t they be talking about it before entering the house? But, no, I’ll wait to ask about it in the kitchen surrounded by adults who could bust me.

    Great review. Loved the hotdog line.

    • You’re welcome. I once ate at a Polish restaurant with my parents and while I don’t care for the cuisine, I wasn’t acting like poison was being served. I do like Polish sausage, but they cooked it with sauerkraut and I ordered a hamburger, fries, and a Coke. The food was good, although I prefer Pepsi. I saw the Duggar family go to New York and they ate at an Ethiopian restaurant and were acting like the way the beef and chicken was served was exotic and complaining about the very thin pancake-like food. The only one who showed any respect and liking for the food was then 4 year old Johannah! Maybe the smell of incense was making them all sick, but still. I hate the smell of incense as well!

        • Thank you. I am not so much a fan girl and large families fascinate me. I used to work with a woman who had 19 siblings and she could name them all and Janet was the only J. This lady was born with a twin brother but he died and they were going to be called Joseph and Mary. I never had a sister and was always curious about them and FH kind of makes me think sisters suck!

    • Yeah, but, if you recall, they don’t eat Chinese because Michelle doesn’t like it. Then that little bitch wipes the pesto off of each noodle before eating it. This family basically caters to her (culinary) whims, especially Danny, who warned Vicky about her refusal to try new things. I say bravo to him for trying something new. I mean, clearly he’s using new experiences to get over a break-up, but who says that’s bad? Way to be assholes again, FH writers. “Everything new is bad! Run for your lives! Sushi!” Really, it would be far more in line with Danny’s character (and shitty sitcom writing) to have him make Turkey in a Boot then pic at it while he mumbles about how this was Vicky’s favorite meal (despite her having told him that it was shit).

      • I agree with you on trying something new to get over something terrible in life. You don’t want to be on your death bed whining that you never got over a broken romance! They should support Danny with his new ways of doing things, but they won’t because they’re all shallow. Hey! Maybe the Rita Rudner quote about being shallow could fit! I also like George Carlin’s quote about Santa Claus being so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live!

      • I remember the episode of “The Brady Bunch” with Imogene Coco as Carol’s Aunt Jenny. Jan was so excited to find a 1930s photo of her aunt as a young girl and they were lookalikes. When Jan finally received a photo of her doppelgänger as an old lady, she was extremely upset and thought she would look like her when she was old. Aunt Jenny served them Japanese food on the floor including sukiyaki and bean curd cakes and the family was very gracious and they weren’t saying the food was weird. Bobby and Cindy thought it was fun to eat on the floor! I wish Danny would have had wasabi and he would tell Michelle that the sauce is cool not spicy because it’s light green and Michelle would have smoke coming out of her orifices after drowning the food in it! Rita Rudner made the same mistake when she tried wasabi!

        • Oh man, that’s sad to say the Brady Bunch was hipper than Full House :@ (Or at least more understanding of different cultures!)

          I remember the t.v. show, Doug, did an episode about sushi. His grandma wants him to try it, and the whole episode is about his apprehension. He finally tries it at the end and loves it

          • I remember that episode. She reminded him of the time when he refused to eat ice cream but once he tried it, he loved it.

          • I remember how worldly and eccentric Aunt Jenny was. She told the Brady family she knew famous people like Indira Ghandi, Harry Houdini, and Paul Newman. Imogene Coco who played her was also in “Vacation” with Chevy Chase and she was that bitchy Aunt Edna. In real life, Imogene was a very nice lady and she hated elbowing Chevy in the ribs! I think if Michelle would have received a Shofar as a gift like Marcia did, she would say, “We’re not Jewish!”. They blow a Shofar on Roshannah. That would be a bit of irony because Bob Saget is Jewish in real life!

          • I remember the sushi on that “Doug” episode looked good, which is probably an odd thing to say about cartoon depictions of food.

            I’ve actually never had sushi. That’s going to have to be on my list of foods to try someday, apparently.

  7. Hey everyone, it’s Bob Saget’s birthday today! Just heard it on the radio, he’s 57 today :-)

    Wonder if he’s ever read FHR?

    • Honestly, I think he’d love FHR. We all know how dirty of a comedian he is and how embarrassing playing Danny Tanner was for him…

      • I know he’s a filthy comedian ( when I was a freshman at University of Maryland, he came to our campus to perform and I totally went!), but I don’t see why having played the role of Danny Tanner would be embarrassing for him.

        He made a shitload of money, got lots of exposure and a great basis for his current career of being basically the anti-Danny Tanner, and pretty much owned the role of a nerdy, annoying, overbearing dad.

        Seriously, his character is the only one besides Kimmy who actually does give me laughs sometimes, because he is such a dork and so awfully perfect for that part.

  8. “I think it’s fair to say that the phrase, “have mercy” is best applied when having to watch your parents make out.”

    This line, this one right here. Great intro to an episode so full of ridiculousness that I can’t believe it!

    So many things I want to comment on:

    The whale poster. Man, was whale sympathy rampant in the 80s and 90s. Whale song cassettes, posters like this, fat mid-westerners wearing whale shirts, a Star Trek movie centered around them… While this poster is ironic for the reasons Billy pointed out, it would be giving the producers too much credit to have done that intentionally.

    The boy asking Stephanie out – Jodie Sweetin is about 6 months younger than me and when I was in 6th grade, I thought she was super cute. There was a girl I had a mad crush on that looked a fair amount like her, and I took her out to see Jurassic Park. I remember holding her hand in the back seat on the way home and I was so nervous and my hand was so sweaty. Anyway, I told her I thought she looked like Stephanie, but she didn’t think it was as much of a compliment as I did.

    The kid with the backwards hat – what school EVER lets kids wear hats in them? NONE! Yet, most TV portrayals of schools shows kids wearing hats!!

    The sushi dinner – some one mentioned it already, but I can’t help it – Danny replaced the table for one freaking meal? I bet that’s at least a $1,000 table too!

    I think it’s funny that Gia cried at her burn, but Stephanie didn’t. Never would have thought that Steph had the thicker skin! By the way, what kind of a “date” is watching someone perform on stage anyway? Isn’t the point of a date to get some face time and converse and get to know each other? Maybe grope a little?

    And finally, yes, it is very creepy to watch Jermsey dancing with 12 year olds. Very creepy.

    • My friend had a date where she watched the guy do stand-up on Open Mike Night. Apparently, he was really good. But things were awkward when she realized that, not two tables over, sat a guy she had previously gone out with from OKCupid. FAIL.

    • OMG, I forgot about Whale Song! And Gregorian Chants set to dance music! Damn, can I get off the way back machine now?

    • I’m glad to see I’m not the only one here who had a thing for Stephanie/Jodie. The hate here reminds me of the period when people (at least the ones on the SomethingAwful forums) were calling Dakota Fanning a hideous troll, which I never understood either.
      I never found the Olsons hot at all, but even they weren’t ugly.

      • I too have a long-standing Sweetin crush. Hell, I think Billy’s even too hard on the Stephanie character herself – it always seemed to me like she was the only potentially sane person in the full house who was even vaguely aware that everything around her was weird and stupid. I always figured she probably left for college one day and never, ever came back.

        • I completely respect your opinion but I think the somewhat sane child is DJ…..Steph definitely seemed to get goofier and more annoying as she got older.

          I do think Jodie Sweetin was adorable as a little girl, though.

          • I respect your opinion as well, but agree with lovetolaugh that DJ is the more “sane” child. Stephanie definitely has her moments of clarity and normality, but any time she’s teamed up with Michelle, watch out! Or worse when the writers paired her with Kimmy and they broke into Steve’s apartment. Yikes!

    • I like to think that instead of actually replacing the table for that one sushi dinner, he actually cut the legs off the existing table. Danny was kind of in a bad enough head space at the time to do something like that.

      • I will from here on out believe this is exactly what happened :D . You’re right, it just makes so much sense.

  9. That backwards hat kid is never seen again, but eventually Kimmy Gibbler starts dating another stupid kid with a backwards hat who only says “whatever”.

    I’m shocked that there’s no mention of Human Pudding literally screaming their band name over and over, over a couple power chords. Even for a bunch of 12-year-olds, that’s pretty awful musicianship.

        • Every time I hear the name Dwayne, I think of that comedianne, Mary Jo Peele and her late husband. She said she woke up one morning and found him face down in his cereal. The funeral was nice she said and she invited their family and their friend. She said her late husband’s name was Wayne and she added the Duh! She said she wanted to change her name to Sexa so she would be Sexa Peele. My mom like Dwayne on FH and she even had a nightie that said whatever on the collar.

    • haha… I remember him! He said “I guess” once when asked if all he says is “whatever”

      Then he quoted a Shakespearean sonnet. Sonnet 18, if i remember correctly.

      why do I remember these things? :-p

  10. A moment of silence for that poor sushi. Seriously, sushi is not some obscure food that you only see Anthony Bourdain eating. And they’re in San Francisco, for heaven’s sake!

    I mostly remember this episode because the actress who played Gia actually went on to do a nice bit of work, but I totally agree with everything. Gia’s prank was stupid, and to be honest I think Stephanie’s revenge wasn’t much either (at my school there were people who would have been proud about their poor grades). Plus, the fact that Stephanie was the one to apologize was bull.

    Also, the pictures from this episode really reminded me how bad some 90′s fashion was. So much plaid and flannel!

    • Seriously, sushi is fucking awesome. I expect that kind of attitude towards it from the worthless assholes in the full house, though.

    • You’d think a wealthy San Franciscan family that gets show business jobs handed to them every time they step outside (hell, they don’t even have to leave their house; the opportunities COME TO THEM!) would be a little more cultured and willing to try new foods.

    • Every time I see the girl who played Gia show up on some ’90s show I think of the ‘Baby-Sitters Club’ movie. She played a bitchy girl in that, kept trying to steal Mary Anne’s boyfriend, Logan.

      (I was a huge BSC fan when I was younger, can ya tell :p?)

        • Angela and Casey, have you two read the Baby Sitters Club snark board? It is so funny! The snarker says Claudia’s too dumb to live, Kristy probably smells funky because all she wears is a turtleneck, sweatshirt, and jeans, and Mary Anne is a jerk!

          • I love the Babysitters Club book series and the BSC snark board! There is this one snarker in particular who is beyond hilarious!

            Stacey was always my favorite babysitter. She was so sophisticated!

          • I was reading the snark about “Mallory on Strike” and the person snarking is relentless! They said that it isn’t Mallory’s fault that birth control is foreign to her mom, a ten year old boy is capable of cleaning up his own damn milk, and you don’t need to make PB & J sandwiches for your younger sister’s doll picnic! For being girls who think they know the needs of children, these girls freak the hell out when their young charges do the bonehead things little kids do!

          • What’s the Snark Board..? At the risk of sounding like my Mema, is it something on the internet?

            And I liked Stacey too. But my favorite was Claudia. She was so hip and artistic!

          • Casey, yes, it’s a board on the internet, here is the link! bsc-snark.livejournal.com/

            There is a snarker there named 3 foot 6…funniest snarker I’ve seen on the internet ever (tied with Billy Superstar!)

          • I have not seen that, no! But I see the link is here, so that’s something I’ll have to check out at some point-you have me very curious about it now :D !

        • Kristy was always my favorite. Which is kind of weird because I was much closer to Mary Anne and Mallory personality-wise (quiet, shy, total bookworm who loved to write). But for some reason I really liked Kristy. I dunno, maybe she was who I secretly wanted to be more like?

          How about you, who was your favorite?

          • Retracting the last question, as you answered it in this little discussion :p. Claudia was cool, too. And anytime Stacey mentioned New York I became even more interested in going there.

            (And I did wind up going there in 10th grade for a class trip. It was fun, I’d like to go back again someday.)

          • Angela, it actually makes sense that Kristy was your favorite if you have a personality similar to Mary-Anne, as they are best friends and opposites do often attract. :)

            I am interesting mix of the babysitters: I am very sensitive like Mary Anne, but don’t have her shyness …. love to read and write like Mallory does….love clothes/fashion and math like Stacey….love to dance like Jessi… lol.

            I love children and feel guilty about insulting even fictional ones, but how annoying and bratty was Karen Brewer??!

          • Lovetolaugh, the girls always acted like Karen Brewer was the cutest, most clever little girl they ever met, but I found her annoying! Margo Pike was so bossy and she always vomited at any little thing and Claire Pike was always on that silly billy goo goo thing to the point that I thought Mrs. Pike had an alcohol problem during Claire’s pregnancy! I liked Charlotte Johanson the best!

          • Bridget, I agree! The Pike kids were really something. Let’s not forget Vanessa with the incessant rhyming!

            Charlotte was great. The Perkins girls were also adorable.

            You know, thinkin about it from an adult’s perspective, the BSC really was like a cult…

          • Angela, it actually makes sense that Kristy was your favorite if you have a personality similar to Mary-Anne, as they are best friends and opposites do often attract. :)

            This is quite true! Good point :) .

            You mentioned Stacey and her talent for math-I always envied that about her. Math was never my strongest subject in school.

            I love children and feel guilty about insulting even fictional ones, but how annoying and bratty was Karen Brewer??!

            Ha, oh, when I was a little kid I thought she was pretty cool, but thinking back on it now yeah, I can see where you’d think that about her. I remember her talking all the time about having two of everything, and her pink glasses, and her blue glasses…(seriously, the random, weird bits of information that stay in one’s mind, I swear to God…).

            I loved the Pike family when I was a kid, I always wanted a house full of brothers and sisters (I only have the one younger sister). Now that I’m an adult, though, and well at the age where I could have kids of my own someday, the thought of having a bunch of them is…not so enticing to me, LOL. Not because I don’t like kids, I do, but because I can’t imagine wanting to be pregnant that much!

            Agreed on Charlotte, she was cool (and I’ve always loved the name Charlotte). And then there was snooty Jenny, and another kid…Jackie, was it, who was kinda Dawn’s favorite, or something? He was always causing a mess and really rambunctious and stuff?

        • Angela and Casey, did you know that Kirsten Dunst before she was a famous movie star posed for the cover of “Claudia and the Prank Phone Calls”? On the cover, an Asian girl is Claudia and the little blond girl she is holding who might be Gabbie Perkins is Kirsten Dunst. The five babysitters remind me of Fox Force Five from “Pulp Fiction.”

  11. OMG the Human Pudding episode. The song “We’re Human! We’re Pudding!” is one of the few genuine laugh out loud moments of this series to me. And I was still laughing at it, not with it.

  12. So I’m scrolling through the review, scoping out the over-done 90′s fashion (which only seems to occur in Stephanie’s school – WTH?) and I stumble across that pic of Gia crying. Seriously, Full House? Stephanie has a rumor started about her (a rumor far less nasty than the ones at my school) and she deals with it. Then she gets revenge and the the girl that started it starts crying. CRYING, FFS! It’s not that she runs away or yells helplessly at Stephanie. She fucking cries. Because, you know, the Full House wants us to know that she’s a human with feelings too, and that you can’t just fuck with someone without there being consequences. Now Stephanie looks like a heartless dick because she followed up on some bullying aimed at her, and the girl cried. I don’t know why this is pissing me off so much. Maybe because they kiss and make up at the end? Maybe because Stephanie got that advice from Jermsey? RAWR. That’s all, just RAWR.

  13. Found this blog a few months ago and have been catching up on all the archives while reading the new one every Friday. I love it, great work.

    Gia was a piece of ass. I always found her to be really hot, especially in the 90′s teen classic, Whatever It Takes, which itself deserves a blog entry.

    Sushi is amazing and the blatant disrespect for Japanese culture is insulting, but if you recall, the show insulted Japan 10000x worse in another FH episode. Remember when Jesse’s single, Forever, became a number 1 hit in Japan? Implying that people in Japan are dumb enough to enjoy Jesse’s music is much worse than dissing sushi.

    Also, I love Mickey’s character arc in the series. First, shes one of the popular bad girls. Then, after meeting Stephanie for about twenty five seconds, she decides to change for the better. Now she’s so close with Stephanie that she is willing to sabotage her once friend Gia to help Stephanie. And the best part, from here on out, Gia is Stephs best friend and Mickey is never mentioned again. Way to ditch the one who was always a loyal friend, Steph.

    Its funny that someone above mentioned that they live in San Francisco and yet are shocked at the thought of eating sushi. I’ve always thought about the fact that San Fran is where this takes place, a place where there is so much diversity, yet the Tanners are the most white bread sheltered family ever. I would KILL for an episode in which Michelle asks Danny Joey and Jesse why two men down the street are holding hands, and they awkwardly have to explain to her what homosexuality is. Tell me that wouldnt be the best episode ever.

    Great work on the site, I’m gonna go back to catching up on older posts now, ill catch you next week.

    • Yeah, I agree. Especially with the Mickey comment. I think it would’ve been more interesting if Gia just stayed enemies with Stephanie, or possibly even frenemies. But Mickey and Stephanie could’ve stayed friends and all that “bad girl” stuff that Gia did with Stephanie could’ve been done with Mickey and they even could;ve had her struggling to rid of her bad girl image. It would’ve made more sense than Stephanie and Gia anyway. But that’s just another example of FH throwing away a potential character.

    • Or tell her what the head shops in Haight-Asbury sell with the funny looking glassware! JB Duggar and wife were in a head shop and he didn’t know what marijuana pipes looked like.

    • I would KILL for an episode in which Michelle asks Danny Joey and Jesse why two men down the street are holding hands, and they awkwardly have to explain to her what homosexuality is. Tell me that wouldnt be the best episode ever.

      Hee, I would LOVE to see this :D !

      Though hey, if you go by Billy’s reviews of the earliest seasons of this show, and his comments about Joey and Jesse’s, um, friendship, in particular, she may have already asked about that at some point.

      • I hope he didn’t have a lead foot or was drinking and driving! Maybe he was an innocent passenger or someone hit him. I almost died in a car crash when I hit a truck with my small car at a stop light free intersection. It obviously wasn’t clear and I still have a healed over scar on my eyelid. I read about William and Kate and how they’re gonna have Princess Diana’s first granddaughter on July 13 and that would be Harrison Ford’s b-day. Don’t name her Harriet after Harrison! I think Victoria is a very classy name, but don’t call her Vicky unless she has curly brown hair! It might be hard for William and Kate to explain how and why the baby’s grandmother died when the time comes!

  14. Finally caught up, now I have to wait until Friday :( Awesome blog though. Surprised you didn’t mention the crappy Human Pudding song, though XD

  15. For once, a Season 7 episode I like. I always like the Stephanie centered episodes, especially the ones that center around her school life. Too bad we never hear from Mickey again, I liked her character. They don’t even mention what happened to her. I guess that’s not an uncommon thing to ditch characters for no reason, assuming the audience at home is stupid. -_- Also, too bad about what happened to the guy who played Scott. Even though he didn’t have an extensive career, it’s always sad when someone dies young. :(

    Next week’s episode should be interesting. DJ takes the SAT’s, her whole family interrupts her in various ways. Even Vanna White and the Wheel of Fortune board stop by!

    • I think she should have realized it was a dream! Once I dreamt about my former boss at the first company I worked at and my recent boss and they were stuck in a town called Starsky and Hutch and the townies were trying to kill each other and my 2 bosses had to escape from the carnage. Anyone else have weird dreams like that?

      • I do look in the back of books to see how they end. When I read about the upcoming FH episodes, I try to imagine what Billy would say. When I go to sleep on Thursday night, I think of that.

      • thanks, maggie. i never want to shoot down anyone’s comments but i do prefer that people don’t describe upcoming episodes.

        • I just read the descriptions of the upcoming episodes and I think, “What would Billy say?”. I can’t wait for the swan song of the show and I am on pins and needles every Wednesday waiting for the review!

  16. Stephanie definitely had the right revenge tactic, at least it went off of something everyone already knew about Gia’s grades. Concrete evidence would bring a tear to any culprit’s eye.

    I guess when Vicky cooked that delicious dinner everyone insulted earlier this season, the writers looked back on it and:
    Writer: “That was some successful comedy there! Hey, how about this time we make Michelle eat squid and say ‘Ewwwww!’ and then, get this, she throws Danny’s emotional pain right in his face!”
    Producer: “That’s a great idea Lenny!”
    Writer: “It’s Lanny.”

    Seriously Full House, this is San Francisco. Exercise those bland taste buds.

    • Hahahaha! Great comment. You just know that’s how that conversation went in the writer’s room. “The audience went wild when Michelle wiped pesto off that noodle. Let’s try something like that again!”

      Also, I really like your username :)

  17. Just recently came upon this site and what can I say? It’s awesome! I grew up watching the show like most and have always had a love/hate take on the charaters and the show itself. Sometimes the lines that were so corny, like when Stephanie ask the little blonde boy if the instrument on his back was his guitar or a really big pencil bag! Lawl!

  18. This was the best review you’ve done in a while. The last few have been decent, but this one stands out. Great job, Billy.

    And we’ll be seeing Gia again; when her and Stephanie team up to form a shitty band that do Ace of Base covers…and fail miserably at it…prompting Uncle Jesse to hand down life lessons on how to be a successful musician.

    JGA

    • How in all that is holy and pure would this man know how to be a good musician? I forgot what Beatles song it was, but John Lennon sang the piece with a terrible cold and he did very well!

        • oh, yeah, thanks! I read about John Lennon gargling milk and bent over as he sang that song on the Cracked website. The writers of Cracked mentioned Litzomania that existed before Beatlemania. Franz Litsz was a famous pianist all the ladies were nuts about and when he wrecked a piano cord or threw out a used cigarette, these ladies would grab those things. I think one woman saved Litsz’s coffee grounds and another took the cigarette butt and placed it in a broach.

          • The Beatles recorded their entire first album in one session, and because of his cold, they saved Twist and Shout until the end. They recorded 2 takes, but by the 2nd take, John’s voice was totally gone, he’d blown it out on the first take, which has now gone on to be a classic.

  19. I remember growing up in the 90s thinking that there really were no real fashion trends defining the decade a la 50s, 60s, 70s, and 80s. Now looking back, I am so glad to have shows like this to remind me that acid wash jeans, flannel/plaid, and chunky shoes not only defined an era, but were so NOT okay.

    • I remember thinking the same thing when I was growing up! Little did I know that flannel wasn’t here to stay, and wouldn’t be considered a classic piece of clothing everyone must own….

  20. Where’s Teebore? He always comments before I do, as the blog is posted over night here in Australia. Coming here is the first thing I do on a Saturday morning, usually while eating breakfast or sometimes even before I get out of bed!

    I always make a point of reading every comment to, and I enjoy seeing comments from familiar names each week. I hope I’ve made a couple of insightful/funny ones too.

    Anyway, I hope he’s OK, and is just away from his computer.

    • I should add that I didn’t read this one on Saturday morning, it’s currently 1am on Sunday morning. I was on a social media blackout until I could watch the American Idol finale!

      • Grant Spatchcock, your comment caught my eye because:

        1. I, too, was wondering about Teebore – I love the format of his comments and always like reading them

        and

        2. What did you think of the Idol finale? Who had you wanted to win? I thought Angie should have been that finale, girl could rock it!

        • I was thrilled that Candice won. Early in the season I had predicted Candygirl and Kreedom to be the final 2, but getting towards the end, I started to think that Angie was going to make it instead of Kree.
          However, I’m a big fan of Amber, I thought she was fantastic, and I prefer her more “pop” style over Candice’s r’n'b

      • Aw, you guys! You’re making me blush.

        Thanks for the concern, but I’m okay – just crazy busy with work and blog and real life stuff, which is why I’ve been late getting to comments lately. And I was away from my computer most of this last weekend (and Monday), so I’m even later responding to this post. But with the TV season winding down now, I should hopefully be more on the ball!

  21. In reality, there would’ve been a huge, bitchy cat fight going down after school, not this crying nonsense. Of course, this was back when cops weren’t called on for every tiny little discrepancy at the school grounds. Tell me a little scrap session wouldn’t have made this episode ten times more memorable than it already horribly is. :)

  22. I honestly blame Full House for all of my bratty kid behaviors. Like Michelle, I refused to try new foods. I also did the “duh” thing a lot. Ugh.

  23. People get rid of things that remind them of their exes all the time. So it’s no surprise Danny got rid of the vanilla.

    • Well, vanilla is full of alcohol so maybe he drank it down to drown his sorrows! Now that I think of it, maybe that is why no one can resist chocolate chip cookies!

      • You’re welcome! My dad thinks of chocolate chip cookies as breakfast and he will eat them when I make them. I also got the ideas of lemon syllabub from “50 Shades of Grey” and that has white wine in it. Of all the ideas to pick up from a filthy book! EL James did make Thomas Hardy famous once more when she mentioned Ana reading “Tess of the D’Urbervilles” and some people are naming their daughters Arabella instead of Isabella and the name Arabella is from “Jude the Obscure.”

  24. I will need Billy’s funny snark this week because I lost my job that came before Buy Seasons 6 years ago this week. I held that job from 1994 to 2007 and May is always a MF for me. I can’t go back to Buy Seasons because 90% of the workforce was let go, and let me tell you, I am a lot more sad about that than my previous company! They might say, “Oh, Bridget, show some loyalty!”, but after all I have seen and heard in the 12 years there with the backstabbing, bankruptcy, our president going to work for our rival, us losing clients, the changing of supervisors, the lack of promotions and so many other things, one can’t stay loyal. Not to mention that my supervisor was uglier than Stephanie Tanner with her crocked teeth, unhealthy thin body, and bad bleach job, I do miss it and I don’t! I also heard that her grammar and spelling were simply awful and everyone covered for her when she had to write letters to important people! My former co-workers were glad she left and now I heard she got divorced. I feel more sorry for her young daughter who is a pretty kid because divorce is awful for a child!

    • Bridget, I’m sorry to hear that you went through that and that this week will be a reminder. I hope you can get lots of laughs and relaxation in this week!

      • Thank you, lovetolaugh! Back to the Baby Sitters Club: I hated how all the club members seemed to dislike Jenny P. and when she acted like an ordinary, ornery 4 year old, they thought she was a brat! They are like a cult, but someone wrote on the snark board that the girls represent all sorts of different lesbians! I hope I never get a boss like Kristy or like Lori was and they thought of a new term on 20/20-Bosshole which was what Jesse was to Kimmy.

      • Lovetolaugh, I read “Out of Africa” written by Karen Blixen aka Isak Dinesen and it’s a true story about her running a coffee plantation in Africa from 1913-1931. She had real struggles that were foreign to the FH denizens like her husband giving her syphalis and her falling for her husband’s twin. At the end she had to give up the farm due to the government and bad African weather. When she was leaving, she knew people were thinking, Thank God it is not me. I think everyone was thinking that when I left my first company. On the subject of “The Babysitter’s Club” Karen Brewer, one lady on the BSC snark wrote that whenever she reads the Little Sister books and her husband wants to make a baby, she shoots him down and he mutters about the little brat. I wonder how many people have used FH and Karen Brewer as their own form of birth control? Both forms are a lot cheaper and they don’t do things to the hormones.

  25. A few Michelle-related observations:
    1) “I wanted to punch her stupid face in when she said she’d get the vanilla” may be the most beautiful line in all of Full House Reviewed.
    2) Why was Michelle just sitting in a rocking chair in her bedroom doing nothing when Stephanie and Gia came in? That seems more like assisted living than living in the Full House. Not to mention, she was wearing a dress with socks. All she needs are a few Werthers Originals.
    3) Somehow, the screenshot of her at the table next to Joey encapsulates her character perfectly.
    4) I’m glad Michelle called Danny out on attempting to deal with his break-up in a healthy manner. That’s not what the Full House was about.
    5) Why didn’t Michelle ever appropriate the “Have Mercy” catchphrase, anyway?

    • Ruby, I can answer your questions: Michelle was trying to push the desk but with her frail 7 year old strength, it was too hard and she sat down. Her arms are quite thin, but not very long. In the movie “Mama” the titular character of Mama is played by Javier Botet and his arms are very thin because of Marfan disease, but he is quite strong! I don’t know why she would not want her father to have healthy distractions from his bad breakup! I guess anything that takes the attention off of her is a bad thing! I did think of Henry Wingo in “The Prince of Tides” when she spat out the squid and in that movie scene, he spat out shrimp Newburgh. I think pre-cookies Jesse should have had all the ingredients out like a normal person would and he made the same mistake when he went for the lemon juice and those twins of evil Nicky and Alex threw in all the hot sauce and anything else that makes barbecue sauce too hot for the human tongue!

        • Thank you! You should see “Mama” because all the actors, big and small are very good! The two small girls who played 3 year old Victoria and her older counterpart 8 year old Victoria were wonderful and so were the two small ones who played 1 year old Lillie and 6 year old Lillie (Lillie as a 1 year old was twins) actually! If you cry easily at the ends of movies, have a tissue! I won’t give the ending away!

  26. I like how Jamie breaks it off with Stephanie after the rumor about Stephanie spreads. Mind you, he’s the only other person (aside from Stephanie) who knows for a fact the rumor is false! What a dick! How about he spends his time dispelling said rumor?

    Also, when I saw the title of the episode, I though Stephanie was going to have a pregnancy scare…

    • Dr. Bitz, boys of 12 can be rather immature and selfish and I do think he should have defended Stephanie’s honor! I think the pregnancy storyline would have worked better on “Degrassi Junior High”, though! I do remember the girl they nicknamed Spike because of her spiky hairstyle and her baby daughter Emma and my God, that was over 20 some years ago or even more than that!

      • I know. It was a long time ago! Little Baby Emma has since grown up, became a vegetarian, was nearly molested by an online predator, gave oral sex in return for a bracelet and gonorrhea, suffered from anorexia, flashed the entire student body, dropped out of high school and married a townie after a drunken night at a casino…amongst other things…

        • Whoa, I never knew that! I have vague memories of Joey Jeremiah and I wondered what happened to the girl who had leukemia? I remember Arthur and his slutty sister, (Tracey was it)? When their mother saw her dress like a tramp, she sent her to an all girls, parochial school with a uniform jumper dress code. Emma’s paternal grandparents were very religious and her father’s father was a minister or something, and I remember Claud killing himself in the bathroom at school. The actors in that episode said the actor pretended to kill himself and gee I never knew people didn’t really die on TV!

          • Does she give birth to Snakes and Sniffles? Those were Stephanie and Michelle’s nicknames on that sneak in the theatre episode of FH. Why did they call him Snake? I don’t get nicknames for some people like why Henry is Hank or Edward is Ted? The pretty blond girl from “The Upside of Anger” was nicknamed Popeye and I never got that, unless it had to do with her wearing hats all the time or she was observant?

      • Teebore, it did sound that way with the wording! On fan fiction FH, Michelle gets pregnant, Aaron’s the dad, and she has a twin son and daughter! DJ winds up with Steve and they have a daughter named Pamela Stephanie Michelle. Maybe they should have called the episode “The Revenge of Stephanie Judith Tanner” or “The Breakdown of Daniel Ernest Tanner.”

    • I will freely admit, I know way way too much about Degrassi: The Next Generation…and exactly what you guys are discussing. I am pridefully ashamed.

  27. Gotta love the sleeveless flannel Stephanie is wearing. The 90s!

    I wonder if someone on the crew of the show didn’t put it up as a joke.

    I could buy it, but only if it was, like, some low level crew person, like a stagehand or prop assistant who was just doing the job during college or something and decided to sneak in all kinds of subtle commentary on the show via the sets.

    Gia gets all up in Stephanie’s face like, “bitch, you stole my man! You betta back the fuck up!”

    I love that she came all the way over to her house, pretended to be nice to her family, then went up to her room, just to say that. Instead of just saying it at school with her posse or something.

    Stephanie immediately starts laughing along with them like she knows what the joke is, which is painfully awkward.

    True, though not a bad first instinct.

    Then Jesse grabs the plate of raw fish so he can fry it up because, seriously, fuck the Japanese.

    Seriously. The extent to which this scene inadvertently sells Japanese culture as something strange and wrong and abnormal is amazingly tone deaf, even for this show.

    All the kids point at it and laugh, including the stupid looking kid with the backwards hat

    Why are all the kids laughing at this? I mean, I get that middle schoolers will take any opportunity to mock their peers (so as not to be mocked themselves), but are bad grades something kids would tease someone about? I’m pretty sure all the cool kids in my school got terrible grades, and it was us nerds getting picked on for having good ones…

    Gia shows up and grabs a booth with her homegirls before being super shitty to her waitress, Kimmie Gibbler.

    You leave Kimmie Gibbler alone, Gia!

  28. Omg I loved that this comment section is discussing the babysitters club! My fav was always Dawn the vegetarian Cali girl.. I grew up in Toronto and now I live in Los Angeles and am a vegetarian… I just realized that… Maybe those books actually influenced my life decisions… What a crazy thing to think about!! I also always wanted to visit “stoneybrook, Connecticut” and I remember crying when my parents showed me in the atlas it didn’t exist! I went to a convention once and Ann m Martin signed my books… Is she still writing? I must know!

    And as a Toronto girl I also loved the original Degrassi series.. I haven’t watched any of the newer shows… Remember Joey Jeremiah’s band the Zit Remedy? Who would win in a battle of the bands.. The zit remedy or… Human pudding?! Or Stephanie’s upcoming ace of base cover band? Or the “friends forever” saved by the bell band? All fantastic bands

    I also used to watch the show Breaker High.. Which had a young awkward Ryan Gosling as the geeky nerdy character.. And he looked like my friend Dale and we always used to tease Dale Hahaha you look like Ryan gosling.. Certainly eating my words now Dale!

    It is a random choice to set the show in San Fran and then never use the location or have shows set around the specific culture that San Francisco has… World renowned for its beauty, diverse food and lifestyle choices, counter culture etc… The full house seems like it should be set in middle white bread America like … Stoneybrook, Connecticut!!!! It’s all coming together.
    The show is shot in LA so why SF? The only episode they actually filmed in San Fran is when the dog gets lost and they are searching for him in all the touristy spots.

    I also wonder why they canned Mickey and had Steph become beasties (typo and it stays!) with Gia.. I wonder what happened behind the scenes like they thought Gia was a better actress or more dynamic character (haha haha)?

    Am I the only one dreading the end of this blog? I love it so much and love reading all the comments too and seeing the familiar names!

    Bridget I would like if you started a blog or something! I love reading your comments they are funny and always informative lol!!! You could review the duggars!

    • KimDragon, thank you, but I don’t know how to start a blog! I just learned about Skype and flash drives. I didn’t escape the Amish or Warren Jeff’s fundies, I just worked in a place that was behind the times and all! I did try to go on Twop to talk about the Duggars, but didn’t know how! If any employers want to look at my Facebook account, I don’t have one.

    • Hey, I’m a vegetarian too! After seeing how the Full House responded to Japanese cuisine, pesto and goat cheese pizza I wonder how they would look at us? Would they intentionally shove meat down our throats to stop us from being so weird or just shun us?

      Anyway, I don’t think I ever watched Breaker High but I do remember Fifteen which, in Canada, would be known as Hillside. That teen soap opera go kind of…weird.

      • Is that expensive? I was in a health food store buying carob for my dogs’ desserts and it was not cheap! I worked with a lady whose daughter was vegan and it drove her mother up the wall because natural soaps and toothpastes were very expensive! I myself prefer fish and chicken over hamburger! I read about that 7 year old girl pilot Jessica Dubroff who crashed her plane with her flight instructor and father in tow because they went up in nasty weather and the Cessna was overloaded. She was a vegetarian along with her mom, Lisa, brother Josh and sister Jasmine. All they could afford was snacks from the health food store. Lisa even asked for health food donations for her daughter when the trip started! She loved sushi and brown rice, you know food Michelle thought was poison! Jessica never watched FH or any other show and she had no toys, only tools. She was home schooled as well. Her mom was a bit of a flake who thought that thinking wasn’t very a restful activity and who said Jessica died in a state of joy back in 1996!

    • I also always wanted to visit “stoneybrook, Connecticut” and I remember crying when my parents showed me in the atlas it didn’t exist!

      Oh, thank god I wasn’t the only kid who actually looked to see if that town existed for real :D .

      I went to a convention once and Ann m Martin signed my books… Is she still writing? I must know!

      1, aw, that’s so cool! Lucky you!
      2, yeah, actually, looks as though she is! I work at a bookstore, and there’s a “Main Street” series that we have there that focuses on a group of young girls (upper elementary/early middle school age, I’d say?) who are friends and stuff. Here’s a link to a site that talks about them a bit if you’re curious:

      http://www.scholastic.com/mainstreet/

      I couldn’t help but smile when I saw her name on a book at our store-it may not be the BSC, but it’s kinda nice to know a new generation of kids will be able to read something by her.

  29. “Becky tries to teach the twins to say, “have mercy” because she thinks that their father might actually put some effort into raising them if they learn his catchphrase. They refuse, most likely due to their constant struggle with coherent speech, but then they are inspired to say it after Jesse comes home and starts making out with Becky right in front of them. I think it’s fair to say that the phrase, “have mercy” is best applied when having to watch your parents make out.”

    ^ This is probably one of the funniest things I have ever read on your blog. So freaking hilarious, I love it!!!!

  30. The kid who plays Jamie is Eric Lively, brother of sister Blake and Robyn Lively. He never comes back unfortunately but if you really want to see him again he’s on a full season of The L Word as a total creeper that lives with Shane and Jenny.

  31. even though Gia and Steph were enimes they became friends at the end of this eposode. and season 8 they were bffs . i hope you do a blog for season 8 .

  32. Never noticed the crumpled wad of paper bit before… And I’ve seen every episode of Full House multiple times. I had to go YouTube this episode just to see it and now I’m not sure how I missed it haha.

    Anyhow, just want to say I’ve stumbled upon your blog and am thoroughly enjoying it so far. I love me some good Full House snark!!!!

    • Good try.

      How shitty of an uncle to defend someone who is terrorizing someone who is in his care. I can’t imagine what would happen when Dawn Ariel is r@ped.

      Dawn: “BUT UNCLE JESSE…”

      Uncle Dipshit: “STEPH, IF YOU WEREN’T WEARING THAT SHORT SKIRT, YOU WOULD BE IN THIS WHOLE MESS TO BEGIN WITH…”

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