This is another one of those episodes where Danny has to go to work and a bunch of kooky stuff happens at the full house while he’s gone.  I’m pretty sure he’s usually the weatherman but tonight Danny gets to be the sports caller for the big boxing match.  Contrasting Danny’s success, Jesse writes songs that are obvious rip-offs of classic tunes and Joey tries out his new boxing-themed comedy routine.  Man, those guys are never moving out.  As he’s leaving, Danny makes a remark about how he’s the only one who thinks Joey’s funny.  So there it is, they acknowledged it right on the show:  even these people don’t think Joey’s funny.  Then why is he there?  What is the purpose of Joey?

One thing that I find really confusing is why Jesse puts up with him.  Jesse is supposed to be this cool guy with a crazy lifestyle.  Don’t you think some corny asshole who’s always acting all embarrassing whenever hoes come over would drive Jesse nuts?  I think this show would be way better if Jesse were always telling Joey to shut the fuck up and threatening to stab him with a knife and stuff.

Sorry I lost my train of thought there.  It’s just that every time I see Joey’s stupid face I get so mad.  Anyway, before Danny leaves, Stephanie gives him this stupid looking fish clip that he has to wear on his tie.  This becomes an important plot point later on, but it’s also more evidence that Stephanie doesn’t give a fuck about anyone but herself.  Thousands, maybe millions, of people are going to watch Danny on the news tonight, and he probably shouldn’t be wearing a big ridiculous clip on his tie like a moron.  But you know that Stephanie’s gonna cry and there’s gonna be a talk with gentle music playing if Danny doesn’t wear that shit.  So, yeah, Danny wears the fish clip.

As the family gets ready to watch the match on TV, Jesse does a really lame physical comedy bit about gathering snacks for the girls.  Why doesn’t he just take 2 trips?

When he finally makes it up the stairs he finds out that the baby is sick.  Jesse and Joey carry her downstairs to watch the match amidst poorly dubbed baby coughing sounds.

Danny interviews Reggie “The Sandman” Martin, played by Ernie Hudson, who must have had bills to pay while he waited for Ghostbusters 2 to start filming.  During the interview Danny points to his fish clip and gives shout-outs to Stephanie and DJ, which I’m sure is exactly what all the viewers tuning in for the big boxing match wanted to see.

If that’s not bad enough, Danny informs the champ that his wife walked out on him during training.  It’s kind of amazing that this was apparently a major news story that everyone except the champ knew all about, and it’s equally feasible that nobody told the one reporter granted an exclusive pre-match interview that this information should be kept under wraps.  Well, shit.

The girls lose interest in the match while Jesse and Joey tend to Michelle’s dubbed-in coughing fit.  They call the doctor, who recommends they check her temperature with a rectal thermometer.  The scene ends with them looking appalled, while the next one begins with this shot:

If you’re wondering if I checked the DVD for deleted scenes for this episode, the answer is, “hell no.”

Anyway, they conclude that Michelle must have a cold.  While Joey roots through the medicine cabinet for cold medicine he unveils for the first time Jesse’s overabundance of haircare products, paving the way for many more unfunny jokes about Jesse’s obsession with his stupid hair.

While Jesse and Joey struggle to figure out how to get Michelle to take her cold medicine, Danny comes back on the air for his post-match interview.  Ernie Hudson lost the match and everyone is holding Danny responsible.  Danny and the former champ make up and then his coach tries to punch Danny in the nuts but is deflected by that fish clip.

Danny comes home feeling sad about how his interview went down but is quickly preoccupied with the news of his sick baby.  Jesse and Joey are happy to report that they’ve taken care of everything, which is actually true for once.  I’m glad those guys are finally getting their heads out of their asses because up till this point watching them handle a baby was really giving me anxiety.  Anyway, after all the stuff with the baby is cleared up, Jesse and Joey try to console Danny about his interview.  You’d think that sensationalist journalism like that would be a real bump for Danny’s career, but what do I know?  Joey gives him a lame pep-talk and then the credits roll.

Firsts:  Jesse’s overabundance of haircare products